To be confident and sexy, you must make peace with your body. I want you to know that both men and woman are hypercritical of their bodies, it’s not just a women’s issue. Men have the same internal dialogue with themselves about their body parts that we do about our body parts.
Sexy is a state of mind. If you think you are sexy, then you will be sexy, and if you feel sexy, then you will be sexy. What keeps you from being sexy is what you’re thinking, and how you’re feeling about yourself. What you think, makes you feel what you feel… did you know that?
What you’re saying to yourself in your mind, the internal dialog that you have, is what makes you feel what you feel. So if all of a sudden, you feel anxious or insecure, it’s because you just had a thought moments before that caused it. This is ultimately about our connection with ourselves.
My three tips for being confident and sexy, and for deepening and strengthening your relationship with yourself and your body are these:
- Stop picking on your body parts. Yes, we are our own worst enemies, you must stop picking on your body. This is the one body that you have in this life, and yes, we all have parts that we don’t like, but don’t focus on what you don’t have and what you don’t like. Where your focus goes, grows! Focus on what you do like, because we also all have that! To have STRONG BODY LOVE, you must focus on what you do like, what you do have, and what you are, instead of what you don’t like, what you don’t have, and what you aren’t. On a good day, I’m nearly 5’2″, I will never be long and lean! I will never, never, never be that, and so I have to stop focusing on my short legs. Focus on what you DO like and that feeling and that attention will grow. And, once you are identifying that part of yourself, you must accentuate it, and flaunt it. You must show up in your life and in your relationships accentuating your ASSETS!
- Stop comparing yourself to other people! Stop! Stop looking at other people, and making a direct connection between what they are and what you aren’t! You will lose every time, comparison will kill your joy. The second that you compare, you deflate.
- If you’re not happy with your physical body, then do something about it. Now that might just mean you lose weight, it might just mean you exercise, it might mean that you buy clothes that are more flattering and you hire a stylist to help you accentuate the positive. So if you’re not happy with your body, then you need to be prepared to do something about it. What are you willing to do? Are you willing to give up your cookies and your lattes? Are you willing to go to the gym, are you willing to a hire a trainer? So what I don’t want you to do is to pick yourself apart internally, and I don’t want you to share your complaints and your gripes with your lover, if you are in a relationship. Do not complain to your lover about your thighs, or your cellulite, or your saggy boobs, or your gut, or your beer belly. Do not make your partner see you through your eyes, your critical, mean eyes, let your partner see you the way they see you, and they are not nearly as critical of you as you are of you.
You deserve to love your bodies and to feel confident and sexy every single day, no matter what you look like. This isn’t about being thin – it’s about loving the skin you are in!
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