Episode 06

Why We’re All Emotional Eaters
(and what we can do about it)

Join me as I dive into the world of emotional eating, where I share both my personal journey and family history with food along with my professional insights.
36 min.

The 5 Minute
Pre-Meal Ritual

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Show Notes

Hello, Listeners! Welcome back to this week’s episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast. Join me as I dive into the world of emotional eating, where I share both my personal journey and family history with food along with my professional insights. Today, we’re exploring how our relationships with food are deeply intertwined with our emotions, shaped by everything from family dynamics to societal pressures. We’ll uncover practical strategies for aligning your eating habits with my signature self-centered approach that emphasizes true self-love, steering clear of temporary fixes through food. Get ready to reclaim control and foster a genuine connection with yourSELF.

Episode Highlights:
  • Understanding the distinction between eating for fuel and emotional eating.
  • Insights into the misuse of food as a response to emotional needs.
  • Hilary’s personal journey and professional experiences related to food and body image.
  • Practical advice on how to confront and change emotional eating behaviors.
In this episode you’ll learn…
[00:00] Introduction to emotional eating.
[03:00] Personal stories and the impact of family habits on eating behaviors.
[10:00] The role of medications like Ozempic in managing weight and why they’re only temporary fixes.
[20:00] Strategies for recognizing and altering emotional eating patterns.
[30:00] The “five-minute meditation” tool for dealing with cravings.
[40:00] Closing thoughts and takeaways on self-awareness and food.

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I am gonna make this very black

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and white anytime that we are eating, when we don’t need

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to fuel or eating something that is not fueling,

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we are not eating for use purposes.

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We are misusing chocolate cake has zero

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nutritional value.

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So if you’re eating chocolate cake,

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we all misuse food then, don’t we?

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Hi, it’s Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast.

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Okay, everyone, today’s topic is emotional eating

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and what ozempic and the other medications like that

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and weight loss surgeries are not going

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to be able to do for you.

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And why it’s so important

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to be talking about it right now is

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because, well, everybody knows what Ozempic is

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and everybody knows somebody who’s on it

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or is in on is on it themselves

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or is curious about it, thinking about it.

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And everybody has an opinion about it, it seems.

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And what’s happening now is that people are starting

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to come off of it and, oh no, what’s gonna happen?

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We don’t really know. It’s not been out there long enough

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for us to even know what’s gonna happen.

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Um, and so why it’s really important

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to have this conversation about emotional eating is

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because when we come off of the medications, we,

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we are left with ourselves.

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There’s no ne safety net after that.

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Like it’s up to us and what are we gonna do about it?

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And uh, so

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before we, so I want you to know, um, I’m gonna leave you

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with a whole new entire framework

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for thinking about emotional eating and how to manage that

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and what to do about it and all, a lot of good stuff today.

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But before we do, I wanna start with my background

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because this topic is actually very near and dear to me.

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Um, and so I wanna share a little bit of a personal story

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and then some of my professional background so

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that you understand where I’m coming from

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when I’m talking about this.

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So I grew up in a very food focused family.

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Um, my, like we were the family who came back for seconds

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and thirds and left nothing on our plate.

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And everything was about food and we were going on vacation

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and what are we going to eat and all of that.

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And, um, I wasn’t necessarily an overweight child,

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but I was round, I was definitely round.

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And my dad was, um, somebody who struggled with food issues

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and weight issues his entire life.

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Um, and in fact, I remember lots of times the three of us,

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my mom and my brother, and I would say things

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to my dad like, stop.

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Don’t eat that. Don’t you wanna be here for us?

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You know, when we’re older or don’t you love us?

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Like I know a lot of people who have, um,

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alcoholism in their family will say things like,

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they chose alcohol over us and things like that.

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So that for us it was food.

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And, um, and my dad, after a lifetime of mistreating himself

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and mistreating his body and eating like s**t

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and not taking care of himself

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and not exercising, he died when he was 67 years old.

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That’s pretty young these days.

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Um, and I was actually five months pregnant

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with my second child when he died.

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And by the time he died, he was in a scooter.

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He had neuropathy, he couldn’t walk very well.

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He had type two diabetes.

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He had already had multiple surgeries like angioplasty

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after angioplasty, after, you know, triple bypass.

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Like he was just a mess.

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And so this topic really is important to me, um,

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because I I’ve come to realize that

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and I want you all to know

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that your DNA is not your destiny.

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And I remember certain points in time

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during my childhood looking at my dad

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and observing him through child eyes,

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but almost with a,

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with more mature wisdom than I should have had

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as a child thinking, ew, like why is he doing that?

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I don’t wanna do that. Uh, that’s not going to be me.

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And, and making decisions, subconscious decisions,

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but decisions that I wasn’t gonna be that way.

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It doesn’t mean that I didn’t still struggle

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’cause I have up

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and down with food issues, body image issues.

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And, and even I’m gonna go so far as to share this.

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When I was growing up, my only childhood bully

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was my mom’s best friend, believe it or not.

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We were the round un athletic family.

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They were the tall, skinny, narrow,

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you know, athletic family.

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And she had said a few things to me that still stick.

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I’m 51 now

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and I was in maybe second grade when I went away

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to sleepaway camp.

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And of course at sleepaway camp, the food is crap.

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So I came home and I got off the bus and,

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and I remember her saying to me, hill, you look great.

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Have you lost weight?

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And I remember thinking I needed to lose weight.

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I didn’t, I wasn’t really aware

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that I needed to lose weight.

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I knew that I knew who I was and what I was

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and I knew I was different than her daughter,

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who was my friend who was skinny and athletic,

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but I didn’t really think about that.

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I needed to lose weight. So in goes the planted seed.

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And then another moment I remember we were at the pool,

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you know, when you’re, I don’t know, those of you

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who have kids, you know, your kids are

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hungry after swimming.

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And I hadn’t eaten lunch, I hadn’t eaten and I was hungry

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and my mom was playing tennis

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and so she was in charge of watching us and I went over

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and I said, Hey, I’m hungry, I haven’t eaten.

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And she says, well, God forbid you miss a

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meal, is what she said to me.

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And at the time, I just remember looking down

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and I even remember my bathing suit, like looking down

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and seeing my belly and my ba my bathing suit, like

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what I was wearing is red and purple striped bathing suit

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and thinking, I hate you.

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You know, I just remember thinking that about her, um,

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for saying such a thing to me.

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Well, now we joke in my family,

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God forbid you do this, this or this.

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It’s like, now it’s a funny joke for us.

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But at the time it was devastating.

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And these types

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of messages we’ve talked about in other episodes,

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implicit messages, things that aren’t saying you’re fat,

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you’re a fatty, you should lose weight,

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but god forbid you miss a meal, is an implied message,

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an implicit message about who I am.

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So yeah, over the years I’ve had my own issues with food

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and body image as a lot of women do, and even men too.

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Um, but that’s my story. That’s enough.

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That’s all you need to know about that to understand,

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you know, where I’m coming from.

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Um, but yeah, I, I decided that DNA is not my destiny.

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And that, yeah, I can’t change the fact

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that I’m five foot one that is part of my DNA

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and our DNA that we really can’t change.

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However, it is up to me to decide

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how I’m going to live my life

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and what my choices are going to be and my lifestyle.

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And I think right now I’m probably in the best shape I’ve

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ever been in because I understand how to take care

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of myself in a way that I’ve never understood

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before, what it actually takes and what it looks like.

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And I have this space in my life to do that.

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My kids are older now

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and I’m not in that, you know, baby season of,

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of their life.

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So now I wanna share the, my, my clinical background

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because I have a lens that we’re gonna look through today

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to understand this issue in a new way.

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When I was training to be a therapist, the first kind of

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certification you can get really is an addictions

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counseling certification.

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Anybody can get it with the training.

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You don’t have to have your master’s degree.

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So I got it and I let go of it as soon

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as I didn’t need it anymore.

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And I was fully licensed as a therapist,

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but I learned a lot about pharmacology

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and I did learn a lot about addictions.

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And I believe that food is a drug of choice

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for many of us.

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I personally can go out to dinner and leave my wine

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and you know, in my glass, I have no problem

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leaving wine in my glass.

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A lot of people are like, well, you’re gonna

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leave that wine in your glass.

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Like, yep, I could care less.

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But I’m one of those people

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that will rarely leave food on my plate.

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Um, that is just me.

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And maybe you can relate, you know,

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maybe you know somebody who is like that.

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Maybe you’re like that.

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Anybody who’s on OZEMPIC right now

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or has been on it is more like me in that way, I’m guessing.

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Um, so what I learned from the addictions space

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is that there’s a spectrum of addiction

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and while it’s meant for cocaine or heroin

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or alcohol or any other drug like that, it can be,

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and I have been applying this concept to food as well.

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So what that looks like is on one side

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of the spectrum is use.

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Do you sometimes use pot? Yeah.

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Do you sometimes use alcohol?

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Yeah, that’s a glass of wine at night with dinner it’s,

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you know, maybe you take an edible, maybe you go

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to a concert, you’re having a good time, whatever that’s use

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all the way to the other end of the spectrum is abuse.

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And this is, I can’t live without it.

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I need to wake up in the morning

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and drink just to feel normal.

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Um, and then after I feel normal,

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now I start continue drinking.

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I’m going to continue drinking so that I can get a buzz.

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And that’s the extreme.

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That’s when you start developing, um, a tolerance.

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When you’re no longer drinking and getting high

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or getting high with the same amount of the substance,

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you need it just to feel normal.

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And then you start, you know, going on

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and on to catch your buzz.

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That’s abuse on the other end. And it, it’s extreme.

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Some of us have seen that What’s going on then is use

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on one end misuse around the middle of the spectrum

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and abuse at the other end.

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So where does food fall in line?

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Because we all use food, we need it to survive.

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So where food falls in here,

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if you think about it technically from

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an animal perspective, we are animals,

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we are bodies, we are engines.

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We need food to fuel us.

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So when we are fueling our bodies in the morning

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and we’re having our breakfast, okay,

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we are giving our body the necessary calories

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and nutrition that we need to function anytime

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that we’re actually, I’m gonna make this very black

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and white anytime that we are eating,

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when we don’t need to fuel

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or eating something that is not fueling, we are not eating

231
00:11:03.765 –> 00:11:06.585
for use purposes, we are misusing,

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I’m making this very stripped down, black

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and white simple to make it easily understandable,

234
00:11:16.275 –> 00:11:19.415
almost to the extreme, just for the sake of making the point

235
00:11:19.415 –> 00:11:20.575
and making it really clear.

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00:11:21.665 –> 00:11:26.275
Chocolate cake has zero nutritional value.

237
00:11:27.305 –> 00:11:28.765
So if you’re eating chocolate cake,

238
00:11:30.025 –> 00:11:33.165
you’re misusing food technically, technically.

239
00:11:34.215 –> 00:11:36.475
Now, food is, uh, something

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00:11:36.475 –> 00:11:39.155
that we love to have in our lives.

241
00:11:39.335 –> 00:11:40.475
It enriches our lives,

242
00:11:40.595 –> 00:11:42.395
enhances our lives, it brings us pleasure.

243
00:11:42.455 –> 00:11:44.075
I’m using chocolate cake as an example

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00:11:44.075 –> 00:11:46.435
because I freaking love chocolate cake.

245
00:11:46.975 –> 00:11:48.955
I’m never gonna pass on the chocolate cake,

246
00:11:49.535 –> 00:11:51.515
but it does nothing for my body

247
00:11:52.145 –> 00:11:55.275
nutritionally, okay?

248
00:11:55.535 –> 00:11:58.715
So if we think about it that way, um,

249
00:11:59.225 –> 00:12:00.715
it’s gonna help us understand

250
00:12:01.765 –> 00:12:03.435
where we might be going sideways.

251
00:12:04.755 –> 00:12:07.535
We all misuse food then, don’t we? We do.

252
00:12:07.595 –> 00:12:12.095
We all overeat sometimes. We all eat for pleasure.

253
00:12:12.635 –> 00:12:15.815
We eat junk food, we eat crap.

254
00:12:16.115 –> 00:12:20.055
We, you know, we eat more than we need to. It’s okay.

255
00:12:20.315 –> 00:12:23.815
I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing to be misusing food.

256
00:12:24.365 –> 00:12:27.215
It’s only a problem everybody when it’s a problem.

257
00:12:28.075 –> 00:12:32.455
So if you’re gonna indulge, do it. Enjoy it.

258
00:12:33.065 –> 00:12:35.535
Don’t feel guilty about it, bad about it.

259
00:12:35.605 –> 00:12:37.015
Beat yourself up about it.

260
00:12:37.835 –> 00:12:39.375
If you’re, if you’re doing that,

261
00:12:40.315 –> 00:12:41.975
unless, well,

262
00:12:41.975 –> 00:12:43.615
I still don’t want you to beat yourself up about it.

263
00:12:43.695 –> 00:12:44.935
I want you to help yourself. But

264
00:12:45.115 –> 00:12:46.575
unless you’re doing it to the degree

265
00:12:46.575 –> 00:12:49.695
where it becomes a problem, okay?

266
00:12:50.035 –> 00:12:53.055
So when we’re talking about behaviors,

267
00:12:53.085 –> 00:12:56.055
maladaptive behaviors is a technical term we can use

268
00:12:56.585 –> 00:13:00.935
where we are engaging in a behavior that is not good for us.

269
00:13:02.065 –> 00:13:03.995
It’s only a problem when it’s interfering

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00:13:03.995 –> 00:13:05.355
with our activities of daily living.

271
00:13:05.665 –> 00:13:07.515
When it’s getting in the way of our goals,

272
00:13:07.665 –> 00:13:11.115
when it’s getting in the way of living our best life, of,

273
00:13:11.575 –> 00:13:13.755
of being the person we want to be.

274
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If you are most comfortable at a certain weight

275
00:13:19.315 –> 00:13:22.175
and you’re not at that weight, then your

276
00:13:23.395 –> 00:13:26.855
misuse is getting in your way of living

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how you want to live.

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I’m not gonna tell you what that is,

279
00:13:30.075 –> 00:13:31.255
you decide what that is.

280
00:13:31.875 –> 00:13:34.375
But we all have a certain standard

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00:13:34.595 –> 00:13:36.455
or we have things that are important to us

282
00:13:36.515 –> 00:13:37.655
or goals we wanna achieve,

283
00:13:37.675 –> 00:13:41.335
or ways we just wanna even look, I wanna look a certain way.

284
00:13:42.095 –> 00:13:44.295
I feel like I look better when I’m at a certain weight.

285
00:13:44.315 –> 00:13:47.015
And so when I go beyond that, I’m not comfortable.

286
00:13:48.215 –> 00:13:50.935
And so then my misuse needs to be reigned in

287
00:13:50.955 –> 00:13:52.695
and I need to be more thoughtful about it.

288
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On the other, on the very extreme of course is abuse.

289
00:13:58.335 –> 00:13:59.705
This is where my father was.

290
00:14:00.335 –> 00:14:02.825
This is where most people are who are at the place

291
00:14:02.825 –> 00:14:04.745
where they are needing to be using the weight

292
00:14:04.745 –> 00:14:05.905
loss medication.

293
00:14:07.185 –> 00:14:11.915
I personally don’t wanna say, well I do.

294
00:14:11.955 –> 00:14:13.035
I have an opinion about it.

295
00:14:13.495 –> 00:14:15.275
My opinion is I don’t give a f**k.

296
00:14:15.815 –> 00:14:18.675
If people wanna take ozempic, take ozempic.

297
00:14:18.975 –> 00:14:20.275
If you wanna do it, do it.

298
00:14:20.775 –> 00:14:22.555
I’m not gonna take a hard stance on that

299
00:14:22.555 –> 00:14:25.355
because I’m not gonna judge anyone for doing whatever it is

300
00:14:25.355 –> 00:14:28.875
that they feel like they need to do to help themselves

301
00:14:29.745 –> 00:14:30.755
live their best life.

302
00:14:32.135 –> 00:14:35.485
Where I do have an opinion is if you’re relying on these

303
00:14:35.485 –> 00:14:38.765
things to do the work for you, you’re in trouble

304
00:14:39.395 –> 00:14:41.845
because at some point you will come off the

305
00:14:41.845 –> 00:14:43.325
medication and then what?

306
00:14:44.225 –> 00:14:47.845
That’s where it gets like you’ll, you’ll have spent all

307
00:14:47.845 –> 00:14:50.845
that money and gone through all of that just

308
00:14:50.845 –> 00:14:52.365
for nothing to gain it back.

309
00:14:52.985 –> 00:14:56.085
No. This is where personal responsibility comes in.

310
00:14:58.505 –> 00:15:03.345
When I was doing therapy in my clinical practice for nine

311
00:15:03.345 –> 00:15:06.885
of the 15 years, I had a professional relationship

312
00:15:06.915 –> 00:15:08.525
with a bariatric surgeon in town.

313
00:15:08.545 –> 00:15:09.805
He was one of the best of the best.

314
00:15:09.865 –> 00:15:13.925
And he would send me all of his patients who were going

315
00:15:13.925 –> 00:15:17.485
to have the surgery so that I could do the psych eval

316
00:15:17.485 –> 00:15:18.565
and make sure that they were mentally

317
00:15:18.565 –> 00:15:20.645
and emotionally healthy enough to do the surgery.

318
00:15:21.425 –> 00:15:23.085
And even though I might decline somebody,

319
00:15:23.085 –> 00:15:24.245
they would always find another way

320
00:15:24.245 –> 00:15:25.445
around it to get the surgery.

321
00:15:25.625 –> 00:15:28.885
So it was almost like just kind of a hoop to jump through.

322
00:15:29.385 –> 00:15:32.365
But I still took that seriously

323
00:15:32.785 –> 00:15:35.365
and I gave them the spiel almost

324
00:15:35.365 –> 00:15:36.565
that I’m giving you guys today.

325
00:15:37.605 –> 00:15:40.345
And a lot of these people would come back to me

326
00:15:40.395 –> 00:15:43.705
after the surgery and they would’ve had a dramatic

327
00:15:45.315 –> 00:15:49.235
external transformation, a hundred pounds, 200 pounds lost.

328
00:15:50.355 –> 00:15:52.435
I almost didn’t sometimes recognize them.

329
00:15:52.815 –> 00:15:56.315
It was that crazy of a transformation externally.

330
00:15:57.095 –> 00:15:58.355
But they came back to me

331
00:15:58.465 –> 00:16:02.755
because they would say, Hilary, I still walk into a room

332
00:16:02.815 –> 00:16:04.515
and feel like the fat girl in the room.

333
00:16:05.415 –> 00:16:09.285
And so what we’re talking about his identity,

334
00:16:10.805 –> 00:16:15.715
one of my other clients, a bariatric patient, uh,

335
00:16:16.345 –> 00:16:17.995
lost about 200 pounds.

336
00:16:18.175 –> 00:16:19.675
He was a really big man.

337
00:16:20.805 –> 00:16:25.495
And after he lost the 200 pounds, he just switched

338
00:16:25.495 –> 00:16:29.855
to drinking and he ended up in rehab for an alcohol problem.

339
00:16:30.395 –> 00:16:32.095
He was drinking Jack Daniels

340
00:16:33.475 –> 00:16:36.085
because he just switched from

341
00:16:36.305 –> 00:16:38.985
one outlet to another.

342
00:16:39.765 –> 00:16:41.265
And this is also very common

343
00:16:41.365 –> 00:16:43.105
for people who’ve had the weight loss surgery

344
00:16:44.775 –> 00:16:48.665
switching from one avoidance technique to another.

345
00:16:50.205 –> 00:16:54.655
So that’s again why it’s so powerful to

346
00:16:55.645 –> 00:16:57.695
make sure that you’re doing your part.

347
00:16:58.975 –> 00:17:00.555
Use the meds if you need them.

348
00:17:01.615 –> 00:17:02.835
I’m not gonna judge you for that.

349
00:17:03.785 –> 00:17:05.155
Have the surgery if you need it.

350
00:17:05.255 –> 00:17:06.355
I’m not gonna judge you for that.

351
00:17:06.535 –> 00:17:07.635
No one should judge you for that.

352
00:17:07.645 –> 00:17:08.835
Don’t judge yourself for that,

353
00:17:09.575 –> 00:17:13.045
but do your part two, you have to do your part two.

354
00:17:14.275 –> 00:17:18.125
You just do. We have to do

355
00:17:18.745 –> 00:17:21.165
the inner work on ourselves

356
00:17:23.135 –> 00:17:26.135
or the,

357
00:17:26.195 –> 00:17:28.335
the weight loss will not be sustained.

358
00:17:29.245 –> 00:17:31.465
And this is where the yo-yo comes in.

359
00:17:32.535 –> 00:17:35.515
We have to think about ourselves differently.

360
00:17:37.365 –> 00:17:41.295
Not just rely on the medications

361
00:17:41.395 –> 00:17:44.295
or the surgery to be our safety net.

362
00:17:45.605 –> 00:17:49.025
We have to hold ourselves responsible for that.

363
00:17:49.125 –> 00:17:52.565
That it’s okay to have the assist, take the assist,

364
00:17:53.835 –> 00:17:55.575
but also do your part.

365
00:17:56.815 –> 00:17:57.905
Also do your part

366
00:17:57.905 –> 00:18:02.605
because there’s like tremendous personal growth value in

367
00:18:02.605 –> 00:18:03.605
that in itself.

368
00:18:04.505 –> 00:18:08.425
But like sometimes these patients would, would have

369
00:18:08.585 –> 00:18:11.345
to go back and have a second surgery that’s crazy,

370
00:18:12.175 –> 00:18:14.865
have this, the, the, the stump the sleeve,

371
00:18:15.125 –> 00:18:18.665
the bariatric sleeve surgery and then it, it fails

372
00:18:18.665 –> 00:18:21.305
because you can’t stop eating anyway.

373
00:18:21.725 –> 00:18:24.785
And now you have to go in and have your stomach stapled.

374
00:18:24.785 –> 00:18:27.065
You know, that’s the like the layman’s term for it.

375
00:18:27.135 –> 00:18:28.985
Like, no, come on.

376
00:18:29.605 –> 00:18:33.505
So what we’re talking about is

377
00:18:34.715 –> 00:18:36.965
understanding our choices.

378
00:18:37.635 –> 00:18:39.605
This is where your DNA is not your destiny.

379
00:18:39.865 –> 00:18:44.005
And you don’t say, Hey, I came from a family of food eating

380
00:18:44.825 –> 00:18:48.405
and, and second, you know, helpings and third helpings

381
00:18:48.505 –> 00:18:50.285
and focusing on food.

382
00:18:50.425 –> 00:18:52.085
And that’s just the way it is for me.

383
00:18:52.825 –> 00:18:55.045
Or my family is just overweight.

384
00:18:55.095 –> 00:18:57.645
We’re just an overweight family. Generations of it.

385
00:18:57.865 –> 00:19:01.325
No, we can decide that we want something different

386
00:19:01.325 –> 00:19:05.685
for ourselves and learn what it means

387
00:19:06.625 –> 00:19:08.205
to operate in the world

388
00:19:08.265 –> 00:19:11.285
and how to operate in the world with a new identity.

389
00:19:12.745 –> 00:19:14.445
And that’s what I wanted for myself.

390
00:19:14.505 –> 00:19:18.055
And if that is something you want for you, then

391
00:19:19.075 –> 00:19:20.545
let’s get into how, what that looks like.

392
00:19:21.645 –> 00:19:25.755
So how this happens, I’m gonna talk

393
00:19:25.755 –> 00:19:27.435
to you now about our inner world

394
00:19:28.635 –> 00:19:33.135
and what I have, what I call cognitive enabling.

395
00:19:34.795 –> 00:19:38.855
This is the thinking that we do that allows us

396
00:19:38.855 –> 00:19:41.255
to make the choices that we make, right?

397
00:19:42.385 –> 00:19:44.325
We think that we all know what enabling is.

398
00:19:45.085 –> 00:19:47.565
Enabling is when you have somebody in your life

399
00:19:47.565 –> 00:19:49.085
and you don’t call them out on something

400
00:19:49.085 –> 00:19:51.405
and it allows them to continue doing what they do.

401
00:19:52.555 –> 00:19:53.885
Well, we do that for ourselves.

402
00:19:54.305 –> 00:19:56.445
And the cognitive part is the thinking, right?

403
00:19:56.515 –> 00:19:58.045
Cognition is, is thinking.

404
00:19:58.625 –> 00:20:02.605
So cognitive enabling is the thinking that we’re doing

405
00:20:02.715 –> 00:20:05.805
that allows us to make the choices that we make

406
00:20:06.225 –> 00:20:08.885
and allows us to perpetuate behaviors

407
00:20:09.235 –> 00:20:10.805
that maybe aren’t so good for us.

408
00:20:10.865 –> 00:20:13.525
So in the end, it’s actually cognitive, disabling,

409
00:20:13.525 –> 00:20:14.965
if you wanna think about it that way.

410
00:20:16.065 –> 00:20:21.025
And an example of this is, oh, I’m running late,

411
00:20:21.455 –> 00:20:25.225
s**t, I’m just gonna have to go out for lunch today

412
00:20:25.225 –> 00:20:26.225
and go through the drive-through.

413
00:20:28.595 –> 00:20:30.775
Or you’re driving home from work

414
00:20:30.835 –> 00:20:33.415
and you think, man, what a s****y ass day.

415
00:20:34.675 –> 00:20:36.635
I deserve to go through the drive-through

416
00:20:38.715 –> 00:20:40.015
or yay me.

417
00:20:40.855 –> 00:20:45.425
I kicked ass today. I deserve this cake.

418
00:20:46.085 –> 00:20:48.285
I’m gonna use cake as an example again ’cause I love cake.

419
00:20:48.865 –> 00:20:53.015
Or you know what, that’s what we do.

420
00:20:54.225 –> 00:20:56.155
It’s actually not just for food.

421
00:20:56.225 –> 00:20:59.195
Like we, we cognitive enable ourselves

422
00:20:59.335 –> 00:21:00.595
for all kinds of things.

423
00:21:01.115 –> 00:21:03.035
I should I get to drive fast today

424
00:21:03.035 –> 00:21:05.955
because I’m running late, I’m extra special.

425
00:21:06.175 –> 00:21:09.075
So I get to do this kind of a thing instead

426
00:21:09.075 –> 00:21:10.795
of that kind of a thing.

427
00:21:12.095 –> 00:21:14.915
So it’s really what we’re doing is we’re, we’re,

428
00:21:15.965 –> 00:21:18.415
it’s it’s victim mentality, basically.

429
00:21:19.245 –> 00:21:23.605
Poor me, I’m such a victim to my own self that I

430
00:21:24.755 –> 00:21:26.245
just get to do this thing

431
00:21:26.385 –> 00:21:30.395
or I just have to do this thing or poor me.

432
00:21:30.415 –> 00:21:33.395
I’m such a victim to my boss or my job or my partner

433
00:21:33.575 –> 00:21:37.035
or my family or my kids or my life or my business.

434
00:21:37.855 –> 00:21:41.195
We have poor me thinking all the time if we don’t hear it.

435
00:21:42.455 –> 00:21:44.835
And the poor me thinking allows us

436
00:21:46.005 –> 00:21:48.625
to behave in certain ways, to yell at people,

437
00:21:49.005 –> 00:21:52.465
to mistreat people, to, um,

438
00:21:53.605 –> 00:21:54.625
do all kinds of things.

439
00:21:54.675 –> 00:21:57.905
Spend money on things like that’s this people, this is,

440
00:21:57.935 –> 00:22:00.185
look, you guys can apply what I’m talking about today

441
00:22:00.185 –> 00:22:05.065
to anything, to any substance, not just food, to any vice

442
00:22:05.945 –> 00:22:10.425
gambling, shopping, um, avoiding in any way.

443
00:22:11.775 –> 00:22:14.715
So, so, so I want you to be thinking about

444
00:22:15.775 –> 00:22:16.825
what am I thinking about?

445
00:22:18.135 –> 00:22:22.585
What am I saying to myself that allows me to

446
00:22:23.345 –> 00:22:25.065
make the choices that I’m making?

447
00:22:28.075 –> 00:22:31.675
So that’s partly why

448
00:22:31.775 –> 00:22:33.195
we do this behavior.

449
00:22:33.665 –> 00:22:36.875
Another reason that we do this is

450
00:22:36.875 –> 00:22:40.355
because we, we are either running from the pain

451
00:22:41.015 –> 00:22:42.315
of something we don’t wanna feel,

452
00:22:43.215 –> 00:22:47.395
or we’re running to a pleasure of something

453
00:22:47.395 –> 00:22:48.635
that we do want to feel.

454
00:22:50.035 –> 00:22:52.665
Meaning a lot of us,

455
00:22:54.685 –> 00:22:56.675
maybe it’s just America, maybe not.

456
00:22:56.795 –> 00:22:57.795
I don’t really know so much.

457
00:22:57.825 –> 00:22:59.475
Like I’m not an expert in other cultures,

458
00:22:59.475 –> 00:23:00.675
so I’ll just kind of talk about us.

459
00:23:01.215 –> 00:23:03.525
We like to numb out.

460
00:23:04.645 –> 00:23:07.105
We really don’t like to feel our bad feelings.

461
00:23:07.325 –> 00:23:10.745
It is uncomfortable to feel lonely or sad

462
00:23:11.245 –> 00:23:14.305
or depressed or frustrated or confused

463
00:23:14.565 –> 00:23:18.105
or, um, to feel apprehensive.

464
00:23:20.515 –> 00:23:22.495
It doesn’t feel good to feel those feelings.

465
00:23:23.315 –> 00:23:26.625
So we

466
00:23:26.645 –> 00:23:28.325
eat or drink.

467
00:23:29.905 –> 00:23:31.595
Today’s focus is eating, obviously.

468
00:23:31.655 –> 00:23:33.555
But again, apply it to whatever your,

469
00:23:33.665 –> 00:23:35.675
your specialty is, your drug of choice.

470
00:23:37.365 –> 00:23:39.425
So I’m lonely at night.

471
00:23:39.565 –> 00:23:42.425
I’m just gonna get my ice cream out and watch Netflix.

472
00:23:43.785 –> 00:23:45.405
I don’t wanna feel my my lonely.

473
00:23:45.705 –> 00:23:49.365
I’m gonna binge on Netflix and be entertained and eat.

474
00:23:51.225 –> 00:23:54.565
So we numb out and we turn away from our feelings

475
00:23:54.565 –> 00:23:56.405
because we don’t wanna feel them.

476
00:23:56.835 –> 00:24:01.295
It’s uncomfortable or, and

477
00:24:01.475 –> 00:24:02.815
or it’s not one or the other.

478
00:24:02.935 –> 00:24:07.925
A lot of times it’s both. Or we want to eat

479
00:24:07.925 –> 00:24:09.325
because it feels good.

480
00:24:10.465 –> 00:24:14.995
Chocolate can release dopamine, the the feel good,

481
00:24:15.275 –> 00:24:17.555
pleasurable, pleasure, chemicals in our brain.

482
00:24:18.905 –> 00:24:21.885
Get a high. I I, I know I do.

483
00:24:22.805 –> 00:24:24.335
I like shopping too.

484
00:24:25.815 –> 00:24:28.255
I might go shopping and, and buy myself something

485
00:24:28.255 –> 00:24:29.415
because it feels good.

486
00:24:29.535 –> 00:24:31.015
I like the new thing that I got.

487
00:24:31.715 –> 00:24:34.055
But these things are temporary,

488
00:24:35.105 –> 00:24:36.935
these running too.

489
00:24:37.415 –> 00:24:39.975
Pleasure. The high is temporary.

490
00:24:41.755 –> 00:24:42.895
So I wanna teach you this

491
00:24:43.195 –> 00:24:44.815
and it’s, you may know this already,

492
00:24:45.715 –> 00:24:50.255
but I wanna I wanna give you this like language.

493
00:24:50.535 –> 00:24:53.215
I want it to be a quick thinking,

494
00:24:54.315 –> 00:24:56.055
um, solution for you.

495
00:24:57.075 –> 00:24:59.535
The difference between instant gratification

496
00:25:00.115 –> 00:25:01.575
and delayed gratification.

497
00:25:03.385 –> 00:25:06.925
Instant gratification is I’m gonna eat this

498
00:25:06.925 –> 00:25:07.925
and feel better right now.

499
00:25:08.865 –> 00:25:11.525
Ooh, I don’t like the way I’m feeling. Eat something.

500
00:25:11.785 –> 00:25:14.165
In fact, one of my clients years ago found out

501
00:25:14.165 –> 00:25:15.165
that her dad had cancer

502
00:25:15.265 –> 00:25:16.765
and her, she said, Hillary, I,

503
00:25:17.125 –> 00:25:18.805
I heard myself say eat something.

504
00:25:19.265 –> 00:25:21.085
Oh my god, my dad has cancer. Eat something.

505
00:25:21.935 –> 00:25:26.085
She’s heard herself say that, which is so great.

506
00:25:26.955 –> 00:25:28.725
What kind of awareness is that?

507
00:25:30.655 –> 00:25:33.145
So instant gratification

508
00:25:33.685 –> 00:25:36.785
to not feel the s****y feeling you don’t wanna feel

509
00:25:37.645 –> 00:25:40.645
or to get a quick fix high so

510
00:25:40.645 –> 00:25:42.605
that you can feel better or feel good.

511
00:25:43.465 –> 00:25:47.365
That’s temporary because what, when that feeling wears off

512
00:25:47.385 –> 00:25:50.605
and it doesn’t usually last long, when that wears off,

513
00:25:50.705 –> 00:25:54.715
what’s left is disappointment in self.

514
00:25:54.725 –> 00:25:57.185
Maybe self-loathing.

515
00:25:57.445 –> 00:26:00.305
God dammit, I ate it again, I did it again. I know better.

516
00:26:00.365 –> 00:26:04.945
Why did I do that? I have no discipline. Dammit, I suck.

517
00:26:05.655 –> 00:26:07.865
It’s replaced with that.

518
00:26:09.375 –> 00:26:13.435
The high you crash from, you feel s****y after it.

519
00:26:13.615 –> 00:26:18.335
It doesn’t last. So instant gratification doesn’t last.

520
00:26:18.675 –> 00:26:19.815
It feels good for the moment.

521
00:26:20.085 –> 00:26:23.795
It’s fleeting, it’s replaced with long term,

522
00:26:25.035 –> 00:26:27.695
not feeling very good about yourself,

523
00:26:27.955 –> 00:26:29.095
but also maybe physically.

524
00:26:29.095 –> 00:26:31.295
Maybe you eat too much, you make yourself self sick,

525
00:26:31.905 –> 00:26:35.425
maybe spend too much and you’re in debt, you drink too much.

526
00:26:35.445 –> 00:26:38.655
Now you have a drinking problem. Okay?

527
00:26:39.005 –> 00:26:42.775
Delayed gratification is more mature.

528
00:26:43.665 –> 00:26:47.885
It is actually developmentally more mature to be able to do.

529
00:26:49.015 –> 00:26:53.615
And that is saying, I really wanna eat that cake,

530
00:26:53.835 –> 00:26:56.055
but I know how good that’s gonna taste.

531
00:26:56.115 –> 00:26:58.735
But I’m gonna just wait. I’m gonna wait.

532
00:26:59.395 –> 00:27:03.215
And in five minutes, if I still want to eat that, I will.

533
00:27:05.225 –> 00:27:07.885
And maybe the feeling passes, the loneliness passes.

534
00:27:08.265 –> 00:27:10.445
You can learn to, we’ll talk about this in a second more,

535
00:27:10.445 –> 00:27:13.845
but soothe yourself, comfort yourself in a healthy way.

536
00:27:13.945 –> 00:27:16.685
And you don’t feel the need or the pull or the urge

537
00:27:16.825 –> 00:27:20.495
or the, the trigger to eat.

538
00:27:22.485 –> 00:27:26.775
And you hang on just for a few minutes and it passes.

539
00:27:28.545 –> 00:27:32.015
And then you can say, wow, I didn’t do that.

540
00:27:33.425 –> 00:27:36.005
Or Wow, I did that. I waited and I still did it,

541
00:27:36.005 –> 00:27:37.725
but I did it thoughtfully, intentionally,

542
00:27:37.795 –> 00:27:39.445
mindfully, carefully.

543
00:27:40.185 –> 00:27:43.485
I’m gonna do this and not feel bad about myself.

544
00:27:44.185 –> 00:27:48.245
I’m not doing it mindlessly on autopilot in a triggered

545
00:27:48.275 –> 00:27:49.405
activated state.

546
00:27:49.785 –> 00:27:52.025
I’m doing it intentionally.

547
00:27:52.405 –> 00:27:54.705
I’m gonna eat this cake and I’m not just gonna eat

548
00:27:54.705 –> 00:27:55.745
it to numb out.

549
00:27:55.765 –> 00:27:57.025
I’m gonna eat it and enjoy it

550
00:27:57.485 –> 00:27:59.105
and I’m not gonna beat myself up for it

551
00:27:59.765 –> 00:28:01.975
or I’m not gonna eat it at all.

552
00:28:02.835 –> 00:28:04.735
And I’m gonna let that feeling pass or,

553
00:28:05.035 –> 00:28:06.575
or whatever realize I don’t need it

554
00:28:07.105 –> 00:28:10.835
because the delayed gratification of that is actually feels

555
00:28:11.095 –> 00:28:12.355
so much better.

556
00:28:13.375 –> 00:28:14.675
And that is lasting.

557
00:28:16.405 –> 00:28:18.465
You’ll be proud of yourself the rest of the day

558
00:28:18.805 –> 00:28:20.145
and maybe into the next day.

559
00:28:20.965 –> 00:28:24.345
So the last thing that I wanna talk about is

560
00:28:25.485 –> 00:28:26.585
the how.

561
00:28:26.925 –> 00:28:30.475
So, um, how we can do this another,

562
00:28:30.505 –> 00:28:31.715
like another tool for you.

563
00:28:32.375 –> 00:28:34.435
So when I, when I left my therapy practice,

564
00:28:34.515 –> 00:28:37.075
I started running my coaching company from home.

565
00:28:37.195 –> 00:28:38.235
I started working from home.

566
00:28:38.435 –> 00:28:39.915
I wasn’t, I wasn’t at the office all the time

567
00:28:40.495 –> 00:28:44.975
and I would find myself wandering into the kitchen

568
00:28:45.965 –> 00:28:49.215
looking for something to do in the kitchen,

569
00:28:49.515 –> 00:28:50.975
in the refrigerator or the pantry,

570
00:28:51.395 –> 00:28:52.815
but not looking for something to eat,

571
00:28:52.815 –> 00:28:54.175
but looking for something to do.

572
00:28:55.425 –> 00:28:59.475
Because I was in between projects

573
00:28:59.815 –> 00:29:03.195
or in between appointments or in between meetings.

574
00:29:03.195 –> 00:29:06.155
And I had not enough time to really do something productive,

575
00:29:06.415 –> 00:29:08.155
but too much time to just sit there.

576
00:29:08.955 –> 00:29:12.455
So I would get up and find myself in the kitchen,

577
00:29:13.605 –> 00:29:17.895
eating, eating when I wasn’t hungry,

578
00:29:18.395 –> 00:29:20.855
eating because I needed a break eating

579
00:29:20.855 –> 00:29:23.695
because I was, you know, needing to

580
00:29:24.445 –> 00:29:25.895
step away and take a breath.

581
00:29:27.465 –> 00:29:31.135
So how many of you have done that before you’re eating?

582
00:29:31.155 –> 00:29:32.535
You find yourself in the break room

583
00:29:32.535 –> 00:29:34.735
because you just need to step away from your desk

584
00:29:34.755 –> 00:29:36.055
for a minute, but you’re not hungry.

585
00:29:36.715 –> 00:29:38.135
You’re looking for something to eat

586
00:29:38.135 –> 00:29:39.655
because you want something to do.

587
00:29:41.225 –> 00:29:43.125
Do you see how that’s misuse?

588
00:29:45.665 –> 00:29:50.635
So when we’re eating for comfort, when we’re eating

589
00:29:52.145 –> 00:29:56.165
to comfort ourselves from a lonely feeling, a bored feeling,

590
00:29:56.925 –> 00:29:59.365
a restless feeling, an anxious feeling,

591
00:29:59.855 –> 00:30:01.445
we’re not eating for fuel.

592
00:30:01.905 –> 00:30:04.165
And that’s when we, things start to go sideways.

593
00:30:04.195 –> 00:30:06.685
This is when we sabotage our, our weight, our weight goals,

594
00:30:06.705 –> 00:30:09.605
our fitness goals, our health goals and all those things.

595
00:30:10.195 –> 00:30:14.215
What I’ve learned is I need

596
00:30:14.215 –> 00:30:17.215
to just get up from my desk and go for a walk.

597
00:30:17.635 –> 00:30:20.135
And I have a dog now she’s five, so it’s been five years.

598
00:30:20.775 –> 00:30:23.375
I walk around the block, I take her for a walk, I take her

599
00:30:23.375 –> 00:30:25.975
for more walks than she needs because I do it for me

600
00:30:26.395 –> 00:30:27.975
and she just gets the benefit of it.

601
00:30:30.465 –> 00:30:33.435
So I’m, I have to recognize

602
00:30:33.935 –> 00:30:37.035
for myself when I’m, what is it that I’m really needing?

603
00:30:37.035 –> 00:30:40.015
Because it’s not food. So that’s what I’m,

604
00:30:40.015 –> 00:30:41.855
that this is the final tool that I’m gonna leave you with,

605
00:30:41.855 –> 00:30:44.695
which is the five minute meditation.

606
00:30:44.715 –> 00:30:46.735
And it’s not a real meditation necessarily,

607
00:30:47.005 –> 00:30:49.895
it’s more just a five minute pause, but it’s a meditation

608
00:30:49.895 –> 00:30:52.175
because I’m asking you to have a conversation with yourself.

609
00:30:52.595 –> 00:30:55.375
So if you find yourself in the fridge or in the break room

610
00:30:55.375 –> 00:30:58.935
or in the pantry or whatever, you’re scavenging around

611
00:31:00.285 –> 00:31:02.135
looking for something to eat

612
00:31:03.925 –> 00:31:08.535
before you eat, I want to ask you to do this for yourself

613
00:31:09.115 –> 00:31:11.455
and you’ll thank me for it later, okay?

614
00:31:11.675 –> 00:31:14.855
And I’m gonna leave this, this is a downloadable

615
00:31:14.855 –> 00:31:16.535
that I’m gonna leave you in the show notes.

616
00:31:16.915 –> 00:31:18.495
So I’m saying that to you now so I don’t forget.

617
00:31:19.515 –> 00:31:21.335
The five minute meditation is this.

618
00:31:22.325 –> 00:31:24.785
You’re in the fridge, you’re looking and you’re looking

619
00:31:24.785 –> 00:31:26.785
and you’re looking for something to do, something to eat.

620
00:31:26.885 –> 00:31:29.465
Mm, what can I eat? You’re not hungry.

621
00:31:31.235 –> 00:31:35.115
I want you to ask yourself, number one, am I really hungry?

622
00:31:36.255 –> 00:31:37.435
Am I physically hungry?

623
00:31:37.535 –> 00:31:40.795
Put your hand on your belly, close your eyes for a minute

624
00:31:41.335 –> 00:31:44.555
and ask like feel your body feel.

625
00:31:45.705 –> 00:31:49.365
Are you hungry physically? Is your stomach growling?

626
00:31:50.115 –> 00:31:51.765
When was the last time you ate anything?

627
00:31:53.185 –> 00:31:56.605
Are you physically hungry? Do you need fuel?

628
00:31:56.605 –> 00:32:00.045
Do you need calories? Do you need calories?

629
00:32:00.045 –> 00:32:01.885
Because it’s been a long time since you’ve eaten

630
00:32:01.885 –> 00:32:03.005
and you’re starting to bonk.

631
00:32:05.405 –> 00:32:10.175
Okay, if the answer is no, I want you

632
00:32:10.175 –> 00:32:11.255
to ask yourself this.

633
00:32:12.125 –> 00:32:13.855
What am I really hungry for?

634
00:32:15.885 –> 00:32:19.215
You’re hungry for something, but it might not be food.

635
00:32:20.395 –> 00:32:25.205
Do you need a hug? Do you need connection?

636
00:32:25.825 –> 00:32:29.645
Do you need to be seen? Do you need to be appreciated?

637
00:32:30.585 –> 00:32:31.845
Did you just have a big win

638
00:32:31.845 –> 00:32:33.645
and you need somebody to celebrate with you?

639
00:32:35.395 –> 00:32:36.495
Are you feeling lonely?

640
00:32:38.075 –> 00:32:39.605
Do you need to reach out to a friend?

641
00:32:41.095 –> 00:32:43.615
Are you anxious, worried?

642
00:32:44.515 –> 00:32:46.655
Is something bothering you, weighing on you?

643
00:32:46.675 –> 00:32:49.655
Are you feeling dread? What are you feeling for real?

644
00:32:50.685 –> 00:32:54.255
Name that feeling. What are you hungry for?

645
00:32:55.815 –> 00:32:59.185
Because then you can actually give yourself

646
00:32:59.575 –> 00:33:02.885
what you really need, which isn’t

647
00:33:04.995 –> 00:33:08.395
a cheese stick, which might be a healthier option.

648
00:33:10.885 –> 00:33:14.315
You don’t need the chips, you don’t need the apple.

649
00:33:14.585 –> 00:33:16.035
It’s not even like what you’re eating.

650
00:33:16.035 –> 00:33:17.475
It’s that you’re eating anything at all.

651
00:33:18.015 –> 00:33:19.635
Yes, there are healthier options,

652
00:33:19.735 –> 00:33:24.185
but you don’t need

653
00:33:24.185 –> 00:33:25.905
to put something in your mouth right now.

654
00:33:26.055 –> 00:33:28.985
What you really need is a friend is a hug,

655
00:33:29.205 –> 00:33:32.265
is attention is you need yourself.

656
00:33:34.455 –> 00:33:36.635
You’re needing to connect with yourself.

657
00:33:37.375 –> 00:33:41.875
And this brings it all back to the self-centered message,

658
00:33:42.955 –> 00:33:45.625
which is don’t betray yourself.

659
00:33:45.995 –> 00:33:49.145
Don’t abandon yourself in your time of need.

660
00:33:50.055 –> 00:33:52.675
You are needing something right now and it is not food.

661
00:33:53.255 –> 00:33:55.675
And you need to give yourself what you really need.

662
00:33:56.775 –> 00:33:59.715
You need to give yourself what you really need

663
00:34:00.575 –> 00:34:03.375
and you won’t know what that is.

664
00:34:03.445 –> 00:34:05.135
When you turn away from yourself,

665
00:34:05.885 –> 00:34:07.495
when you turn your back on yourself

666
00:34:07.555 –> 00:34:10.255
and you just on autopilot stuff, food in your face.

667
00:34:11.825 –> 00:34:13.395
It’s not good for your mental health,

668
00:34:13.465 –> 00:34:15.835
your emotional wellbeing, or your physical health.

669
00:34:17.215 –> 00:34:18.795
And so as you

670
00:34:18.895 –> 00:34:21.035
or somebody you know might be coming off

671
00:34:21.035 –> 00:34:22.115
of these medications,

672
00:34:24.935 –> 00:34:27.195
if you’ve not been on the medications, fine,

673
00:34:29.235 –> 00:34:31.125
this is a tool that we all need,

674
00:34:31.125 –> 00:34:33.565
whether you have weight issues or not,

675
00:34:33.595 –> 00:34:37.045
because we all misuse food from time to time.

676
00:34:38.815 –> 00:34:41.075
And if it is bordering on some kind of a problem

677
00:34:41.095 –> 00:34:42.155
for you in any way,

678
00:34:42.585 –> 00:34:44.995
even if you’re carrying five extra pounds

679
00:34:45.065 –> 00:34:48.625
that you don’t wanna carry, this will help you.

680
00:34:50.145 –> 00:34:52.875
This will help you. You don’t need to count calories,

681
00:34:52.895 –> 00:34:54.595
you don’t need to work out extra hard.

682
00:34:56.275 –> 00:34:57.925
This is connection to self.

683
00:34:59.755 –> 00:35:02.445
This is relationship with self. Feel your feelings.

684
00:35:02.445 –> 00:35:06.305
Don’t eat them, don’t drink them, don’t shop them.

685
00:35:06.355 –> 00:35:09.505
Don’t busy them. Don’t stuff them. Feel your feelings.

686
00:35:10.175 –> 00:35:13.385
They are yours. They are valid, they are real.

687
00:35:13.695 –> 00:35:15.785
They may not feel good, but they do pass

688
00:35:16.205 –> 00:35:19.505
and they pass quicker when you are actually

689
00:35:19.885 –> 00:35:20.945
tuning into them.

690
00:35:21.645 –> 00:35:24.745
So you can give yourself what you really need

691
00:35:25.205 –> 00:35:28.645
and be productive rather than

692
00:35:29.005 –> 00:35:30.765
destructive to yourself.

693
00:35:31.395 –> 00:35:33.525
Love yourself. This is how you love yourself

694
00:35:34.145 –> 00:35:36.525
and this is part of how you are self-centered.

695
00:35:37.345 –> 00:35:39.605
So I wanna remind you, like I said earlier,

696
00:35:39.695 –> 00:35:42.045
there is a download that I offer, I’m offering you,

697
00:35:42.045 –> 00:35:43.525
we call it the five minute meditation,

698
00:35:43.545 –> 00:35:45.565
but it’s really, again, not a total meditation,

699
00:35:45.755 –> 00:35:49.205
it’s more the steps that I want you to ask yourself,

700
00:35:49.265 –> 00:35:51.365
the things I want you to be asking yourself to tune in

701
00:35:51.665 –> 00:35:55.495
before you eat if you have a problem with emotional eating.

702
00:35:55.995 –> 00:35:59.035
And it’s gonna help. And I’ll see you next time.

703
00:35:59.035 –> 00:36:01.815
Thanks for listening. Thanks so much

704
00:36:01.815 –> 00:36:03.295
for joining the conversation today.

705
00:36:03.575 –> 00:36:05.015
I hope you learned something new

706
00:36:05.555 –> 00:36:07.455
or heard something that inspired you

707
00:36:07.455 –> 00:36:09.255
to take action in a new way.

708
00:36:09.835 –> 00:36:11.415
As your greatest champion

709
00:36:11.555 –> 00:36:14.815
and someone who truly cares about your love, happiness,

710
00:36:14.815 –> 00:36:18.335
wealth, and success, I always want to encourage you

711
00:36:18.395 –> 00:36:22.375
to ask yourself this question, how have I contributed?

712
00:36:23.075 –> 00:36:25.215
You are the only person who can ask this

713
00:36:25.315 –> 00:36:27.415
and the only one who can answer it.

714
00:36:28.165 –> 00:36:31.495
This doesn’t just change your life, this changes everything.

What to listen to next...

Episode 07
Let's explore how embracing a more self-centered approach can lead to healthier relationships and a happier, more authentic life.
41 min.
Episode 05
We’ve been receiving so many insightful and thought-provoking questions from you all, and it’s time we dive into them.
27 min.

This Changes Everything.

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