Episode 01

Why We’re All Hyper-Focused on Narcissism Right Now
(and why this is keeping us from protecting ourselves)

Discussing why narcissism is everywhere right now (and why it doesn’t matter nearly as much as you think)
24 min.

free download

How to Narcissist-Proof Your Life

Feeling like you need to sage yourself from all this narcissist-talk? (Me, too). Learn how to repel those kind of people and narcissist-proof yourself once and for all.

Show Notes

Welcome to the very first episode of The Hilary Silver Podcast! You’re probably already aware that narcissism is everywhere—from Instagram to top-chart podcasts and headline news. But while it’s important to recognize narcissistic behaviors for our safety and well-being, there’s a part of the conversation that’s often overlooked: how our obsession is preventing us from focusing on our own growth and protection.

In today’s episode, we’ll delve into why this shift in focus is crucial and how you can start to make those changes. Discover why focusing too much on spotting narcissists is just plain counterproductive and what you can do instead.

Episode Highlights:
  • Narcissism in the Spotlight: Explore why narcissism has captured our collective attention and what this means for our personal development.
  • Self-Protection vs. Narcissist Identification: Learn how the current focus on identifying narcissists could be making us miss crucial self-protective strategies.
  • Empowerment Through Self-Awareness: Discover strategies to narcissist-proof your life not by focusing outward, but by strengthening your own self-awareness and boundaries.
  • Insights and Anecdotes: Hilary shares personal anecdotes and insights from her years of clinical practice, illustrating how a deeper understanding of oneself can lead to true empowerment.
In this episode you’ll learn…
  • The Cultural Obsession with Narcissism: Why are we so focused on this particular personality trait?
  • The Impact of Hyper-Vigilance: How does constantly being on the lookout for narcissists affect our mental health and relationships?
  • Shifting the Focus: Practical tips on how to shift the focus from others to oneself to ensure personal growth and safety.
  • Bonus Content: Don’t forget to grab the free download “How to Narcissist Proof Your Life”. This guide will help you apply the insights from today’s discussion to your everyday life.

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I better be on alert.

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I better be on the lookout just in case they come

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and I’m gonna be ready to go.

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And I’m looking, I’m looking, I’m looking.

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I don’t wanna be in fight mode.

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I wanna focus on what I want, not what I don’t want.

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When you live trying to outsmart the narcissist,

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you will get more of those people in your life.

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Hi, it’s Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast.

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Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in today.

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You may have noticed narcissism is the topic

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everyone is talking about right now.

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It is all over social media.

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It is the topic of so many podcasts from Mel Robbins

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to Donald Miller and Lewis Howes.

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And it’s even in articles in the Economist New York Post

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and The Guardian over two decades ago when I first started

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my private practice, nobody knew anything about narcissism.

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Uh, so we’ve come a very long way, uh, in

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that it’s a very widely discussed topic.

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And while there are some very good things about these public

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service announcements

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and that it’s such a widely discussed topic,

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and we have all this knowledge

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and awareness, now, there are some really important pieces

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of the conversation that I feel are missing,

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like critical pieces of the conversation that I want you

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to know just to make the whole thing feel less scary

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and intimidating.

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And actually how

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to narcissist proof your life without focusing on the other

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person at all.

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As a bonus, be sure to grab my free download, how

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to Narcissist Proof Your Life in the Show Notes.

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So let’s tune into the conversation. Let’s get started.

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So everybody right now is quick

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to label people a narcissist.

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Everybody’s talking about narcissism

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because when we can identify a bad guy,

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it makes us feel vindicated.

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It makes us feel, oh, there’s a reason

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that I’m feeling this way.

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Oh, that person said these things.

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Did these things hurt me, mistreated me all,

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whatever it was that they did with me in this relationship.

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Now it makes sense. It’s basically it.

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When you’re, when you’re tangled up intimately

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with somebody who’s a narcissist, you kind

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of lose your sense of reality

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because they’re very good at twisting and spinning things

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and manipulating things

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that you end up doubting yourself a lot.

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So once you understand what narcissism is,

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it gives you this like, oh my gosh, this sense of

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I’m not crazy, this is happening,

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and I thought something wasn’t right,

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and now I know it wasn’t right.

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So we feel vindicated. We feel justified, we feel validated.

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It’s kind of like catching your breath

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after being breathless for a long time.

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And that actually feels really good.

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Um, but also when we’ve been hurt by somebody,

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we also get angry and we get p****d off and we get resentful

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and oh,

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and so there’s, there’s, there’s this tinge of, um,

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animosity or acrimony

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that I feel the conversations are having right now, where,

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you know, it’s like, yeah, f**k that person.

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They hurt me. Or, you know, making this person a villain

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in so many ways.

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And part of the problem is when there’s a villain,

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there’s always a victim and nobody wants to be a victim.

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And that’s one of the things

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we’re gonna be talking about today.

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So yeah, everybody’s really hot

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to call people a narcissist right now

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because it makes us feel righteous.

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I was right. I am right, I’m righteous,

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and yeah, like, okay, yay me.

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But it doesn’t actually feel that good actually,

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not really in the long run

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because it doesn’t solve anything.

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Maybe temporarily, but not for the long run.

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The problem about using the term,

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the way everybody is these days, and

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because the language is

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so commonplace anymore, it’s part of our language.

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It used to be that we would call people passive aggressive,

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and that was like the worst thing you can call somebody.

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And now it’s like narcissist.

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Um, so the reason

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that it’s dangerous is be, is for many reasons.

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Number one is only a true mental

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health professional can actually diagnose somebody as NPD

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because you have to actually meet multiple criteria

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to be officially narcissistic personality disorder.

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It is a mental disorder,

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and the traits that go with narcissism aren’t pretty.

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Like, it’s really not something like we can handle.

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Oh, I’ve got anxiety

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and there’s, there’s, while that’s uncomfortable

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to be an anxious person

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and to have anxiety, you know,

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we’re not gonna villainize somebody who’s got anxiety.

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When somebody has traits

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that resemble narcissism, it’s kind of ugly.

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Like nobody wants to be called self-involved or grandiose

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or manipulative.

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And so it’s kind of ugly.

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Nobody want, nobody walks around calling themselves this.

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We’re not proud of it. And we certainly don’t wanna be

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called this because it says icky things about

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who we are if we’re called a narcissist.

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Um, but the word is being tossed around

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and we’re actually weaponizing the word

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and calling people narcissist when

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they’re really, truly not.

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All of us have the ability to demonstrate

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or, um, behave in ways that have narcissistic tendencies.

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Like we can all be manipulative when we’re not consciously

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thinking about what we’re doing in the moment.

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Everybody can gaslight from time to time.

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And what that tells me is that person

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or me, even if I’m doing it,

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we’re having trouble in the moment, expressing ourselves

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directly, asking for what we need, um,

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expressing our emotions, saying that we’re not happy

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with the way something is going.

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We’re we’re troubled in the moment.

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If there’s a pattern of it, you know, over and over

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and over again, yes, it’s a problem.

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But can we all do this from time to time? Yes.

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Can we all be self-absorbed at times? Yes.

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Especially when we’re not in a good space with ourselves.

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If we’re having a hard time in our lives with something so

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we can call people narcissists, so flippantly

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and carelessly that it can ruin people’s reputations,

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it can damage reputations, um, simply

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because we didn’t like the way

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that they treated us in a given moment.

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Um, and that’s a problem.

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And, and really like if, think about it, our culture is

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so pro self-esteem, pro being self-love

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pro being confident, um, and pro having boundaries.

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Like that’s all the rage right now.

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Boundaries, boundaries are everywhere.

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Um, so if you come across somebody who actually has

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true deep self-confidence

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and is very self-loving and takes good care of themselves

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and feels comfortable in their own skin

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and asserts boundaries, it may come across

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to somebody as narcissistic.

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And that’s not good because you can’t win.

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Either you, you know, you’re a narcissist

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or you have healthy self-esteem.

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Who’s the one that gets to decide what that is?

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So we have to be very careful about that.

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Um, and I think it’s dangerous. It just is dangerous.

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And, and a lot of us, I’ve done it,

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I’ve called somebody a narcissist even knowing better,

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like, I shouldn’t do that.

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And I’ve done it when I just don’t like

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the way that they’re treating me.

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Um, and so we have to be careful.

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So technically narcissistic personality disorder

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as all disorders are on a, a spectrum

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and to the extreme of NPD would antisocial

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disorder like people who are in prison

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because they simply cannot follow the rules of society.

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They literally cannot. That is the extreme.

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We’re talking sociopath, psychopath behavior,

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and they do exist.

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And a lot of my clients over the years have

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come across those people

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and been in relationships with them, and it is scary

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and very harmful and very damaging,

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and it can destroy, it’s very destructive, okay?

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But, but within, within normal limits,

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like in a normal range, on a spectrum,

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if narcissistic personality disorder is here,

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and this is the middle point right here, um, kind

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of somewhere in the middle, and I’m using hand gestures

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for those of you who are watching this on YouTube.

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Um, but think about the middle point of a timeline.

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That’s, that’s the absolute neutral point.

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So if you move over to one side,

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you’ve got narcissistic personality disorder

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and the gradient along the way is just having traits.

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Well, now if we’re gonna go to the other side through

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to the opposite extreme

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is codependent personality disorder.

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It’s the opposite.

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And we’ve all, you know, heard just like narcissism,

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codependency, everybody’s kind of learned about

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what codependency is.

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Codependency can look like a person

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who is lacking a sense of self.

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They’re not, they don’t have a strong sense of self.

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They, um, often end up in relationships with people who are,

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have a strong sense of self.

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Are we starting to make the clear picture here?

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Codependency often fits with a narcissistic kind

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of personality to all degrees, to,

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to the extreme degree, but also to just a mild degree.

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Um, and what also falls in line with codependency are people

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who identify as people, pleasers, people

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who are overly nurturing and giving and selfless.

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And the thing about our culture is

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that we really put selflessness

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and people pleasing on a pedestal.

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And we think somehow that being selfless is noble

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and being, giving and nurturing

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and giving somebody the shirt off of your back

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or, um, putting themselves last

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and always taking care of everyone else

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and then taking care of yourself last is

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somehow a good thing.

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But it’s not, it’s not good for that, that person.

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It’s not good for us to operate that way.

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And what ends up happening is those are the kinds of people

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who often end up in relationships with the narcissist.

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And so what’s really been missing in my opinion

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about all the narcissism talk is

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that this is a relational issue.

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All the focus has been on the horrible, scary, awful,

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no good villain of a narcissist and how horrible they are.

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And yes, it can be horrible.

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I’m not denying that, but it’s not helpful

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to only be talking about that

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because we also need to be talking about the people

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who are getting tangled up in relationships

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with narcissistic people.

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That’s what’s really missing,

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and that’s what I wanna be talking about today.

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Because you can easily disarm your

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disarm a narcissist without thinking so much about them

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and who they are, um, by just focusing on you

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and who you are.

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It’s a, it’s a more productive conversation

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to be having, I think.

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So if this is a relationship issue,

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a relational issue, it’s a dynamic.

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Then what we’re gonna talk about is the other side

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of the coin, having be like identifying

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as somebody who is an empath, somebody

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who is people pleasing, somebody who’s a nurturer

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and a giver, as I just said, that is coming from a place

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of a lack, of a strong sense of self

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and all of that, giving, giving, giving,

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all of that nurturing.

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Nurturing is actually coming from a place

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of a lack inside the self.

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It’s a need to be needed, a need

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to fill a void inside.

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And so here’s the kind of the slap of truth here, which is

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that it’s two sides of the same coin, narcissism

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and empath narcissistic kind of person

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and people pleasing kind of person.

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It’s two sides of the same coin.

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Because if you’re so busy giving and giving and giving

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and trying to fill a need inside of yourself,

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then you are really self-focused.

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Your giving isn’t about giving to the other person at all.

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It’s about giving for your own need, for your own self.

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And, um, and that’s not healthy.

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So the way that we actually can remedy some

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of this relationship dynamics with narcissism is

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by stopping the discussion about the narcissist

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and actually talking about the people

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who are attracting them into their lives

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and how we can help fill that person up from the inside

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to be more self-centered whole, um, healthy

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and healed as an individual rather

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than showing up kind of a sitting duck

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or being a target for somebody who’s a narcissist.

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Um, and so there’s, so there’s two main conversations

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that I’m hearing right now.

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The first is, um, how to heal from narcissistic abuse.

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And we’ll come back to that in a second.

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And then the other is how to be on the lookout

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for a narcissist and how to watch out for them

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and how to disarm them and outsmart them.

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And so those are the two things

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that I wanna be talking about now.

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So let’s talk about the first one. Yes.

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After you’ve been in a relationship with somebody

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who is extremely narcissistic,

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maybe they’re a true full blown narcissist

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and psychopath, maybe they’re not, maybe they’re just very

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narcissistic and they’ve got traits and,

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and in that relationship you lost yourself,

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you lost your way, you lost your sense of self,

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you got tangled up in this person.

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You lost your sense of reality.

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As I said at the very beginning.

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Yes, there’s healing to do, healing to do,

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and there are a lot of resources out there for that kind

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of healing work to be done.

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But here’s what I want to say that may feel provocative.

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So kind of put your seatbelt on for this.

300
00:14:52.935 –> 00:14:57.765
There is probably some healing that needed to be done prior

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to getting into a relationship with a narcissist.

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And if the healing that you’re going to be doing,

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or the conversation that you’re having is only about healing

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from the after effects of being in a relationship with

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that person, then you are going

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to get into another relationship

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with another narcissist again,

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because there was something about you, me, us, we,

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00:15:23.895 –> 00:15:27.245
those of us who get into a relationship with somebody like

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that, that needed to be healed

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00:15:30.335 –> 00:15:34.955
and addressed prior, the issue predated that person

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and that relationship.

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Okay? I know that can be hard to hear

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because as I started off the podcast saying,

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we wanna feel vindicated.

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00:15:43.865 –> 00:15:46.075
That person is a villain. They’re horrible.

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I’ve been mistreated, I’m a victim,

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but I don’t know about you all,

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but I do not wanna be a victim.

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The only way to not be a victim is to take responsibility

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00:15:58.255 –> 00:16:00.915
for who we are, how we are, what we’ve done,

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00:16:00.935 –> 00:16:04.635
how we’ve contributed, how we have co-created the dynamic

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and own it.

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And therefore, when we do that, we know

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00:16:11.475 –> 00:16:13.775
it will never f*****g happen again.

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00:16:14.195 –> 00:16:16.255
If it’s always somebody else’s fault,

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00:16:16.715 –> 00:16:19.215
if it’s always the narcissist, that’s the problem.

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You are screwed. You’re will 100% I guarantee happen again,

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00:16:25.275 –> 00:16:27.695
if you’re only healing from what that person did to you,

330
00:16:28.075 –> 00:16:32.295
you must, must, must be willing to look at who you were

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00:16:33.245 –> 00:16:36.815
when you got into this relationship with this person.

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I say it with all the love, all the compassion,

333
00:16:39.635 –> 00:16:40.695
all the kindness in the world,

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because who you were at that time was likely somebody

335
00:16:45.115 –> 00:16:48.155
who was also struggling in your own way, struggling

336
00:16:48.155 –> 00:16:51.795
with not knowing really solidly who you were with,

337
00:16:51.935 –> 00:16:55.635
not understanding that, that it’s okay to speak up

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00:16:55.635 –> 00:16:58.635
for yourself without knowing that it’s not okay

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00:16:58.635 –> 00:17:01.115
to be treated a certain way without realizing

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00:17:01.115 –> 00:17:03.755
that you are powerful and resourceful internally.

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00:17:03.855 –> 00:17:05.835
And that if somebody is speaking to you in a way

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00:17:05.835 –> 00:17:07.995
that you don’t like it, you don’t have to listen

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00:17:08.175 –> 00:17:09.315
and you don’t have to stay.

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00:17:09.855 –> 00:17:11.955
So this isn’t about shaming and blaming.

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00:17:12.585 –> 00:17:16.955
It’s about seeing how what was going on with you prior

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00:17:16.975 –> 00:17:20.475
to this relationship that actually needs healing

347
00:17:21.135 –> 00:17:23.315
and needs attention and compassion

348
00:17:23.335 –> 00:17:27.155
and love so that you can do the work on you owning

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00:17:27.175 –> 00:17:30.235
how you were showing up in that relationship

350
00:17:30.625 –> 00:17:32.515
that allowed this to happen.

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Where you attracted this person.

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00:17:34.705 –> 00:17:37.915
Were you somebody who was codependent?

353
00:17:38.345 –> 00:17:41.235
Were you just somewhat slightly people pleasing

354
00:17:41.255 –> 00:17:45.715
and you became a magnet for somebody who took advantage

355
00:17:46.015 –> 00:17:47.315
and you got exploited?

356
00:17:47.705 –> 00:17:51.205
Okay? They, the narcissist has to take responsibility

357
00:17:51.225 –> 00:17:52.725
for them, though they probably won’t.

358
00:17:53.225 –> 00:17:58.125
But you also have to see how you contributed,

359
00:17:58.425 –> 00:18:01.725
how you were primed, how you were ripe for the plucking

360
00:18:02.705 –> 00:18:07.405
to be targeted by somebody in this way that has to happen.

361
00:18:08.065 –> 00:18:10.325
So that to me is one of the critical pieces

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00:18:10.425 –> 00:18:13.405
that’s missing in all of the conversations around healing

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00:18:14.115 –> 00:18:17.445
from narcissistic abuse and from narcissistic people

364
00:18:17.545 –> 00:18:21.285
and narcissistic relationships, please, I implore you

365
00:18:21.465 –> 00:18:26.005
to be willing to look in the mirror to see just how

366
00:18:26.545 –> 00:18:28.445
you might’ve been showing up in a way

367
00:18:28.445 –> 00:18:31.285
that invited this person into your life

368
00:18:31.385 –> 00:18:32.885
and welcomed them in.

369
00:18:33.735 –> 00:18:36.805
Truly, when somebody is giving and giving and giving,

370
00:18:36.985 –> 00:18:38.245
and you’re such a giver,

371
00:18:38.705 –> 00:18:41.405
you can make anyone look like a taker, really,

372
00:18:41.995 –> 00:18:44.605
it’s not healthy to do that.

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00:18:45.155 –> 00:18:47.365
Give and be generous and be kind and loving,

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00:18:47.505 –> 00:18:51.565
but don’t be so selfless that you are attracting somebody

375
00:18:51.625 –> 00:18:52.765
who will take and take

376
00:18:52.825 –> 00:18:55.005
and take until there’s nothing left of you

377
00:18:55.675 –> 00:18:56.725
that is up to you.

378
00:18:56.985 –> 00:18:58.165
You are the only one

379
00:18:58.825 –> 00:19:02.525
who can protect yourself from this happening ever again.

380
00:19:03.225 –> 00:19:07.125
And rather than focus on avoiding a narcissist

381
00:19:07.145 –> 00:19:08.605
and looking out for the narcissist,

382
00:19:08.705 –> 00:19:11.405
you can just simply work on yourself and focus on you,

383
00:19:12.065 –> 00:19:13.245
and that falls away.

384
00:19:14.215 –> 00:19:17.115
So that leads me to the second conversation that I’m hearing

385
00:19:18.225 –> 00:19:21.755
that I wanna talk about, which is all about looking

386
00:19:21.855 –> 00:19:24.395
and looking and looking, and you’ve got your binoculars on

387
00:19:24.415 –> 00:19:26.075
and you’ve got your microscope out,

388
00:19:26.175 –> 00:19:28.155
and you’re looking for the narcissist so

389
00:19:28.155 –> 00:19:29.835
that you can avoid them at all costs.

390
00:19:30.535 –> 00:19:33.355
And oh my God, that is like living

391
00:19:33.945 –> 00:19:36.715
with your boxing gloves on, ready for the fight.

392
00:19:37.375 –> 00:19:38.675
And I don’t know about you guys,

393
00:19:38.815 –> 00:19:41.555
but I do not wanna live my life in fight mode.

394
00:19:42.075 –> 00:19:43.435
I do not wanna live like that.

395
00:19:44.155 –> 00:19:49.035
I want to live my life focused on what I do want rather than

396
00:19:49.035 –> 00:19:50.235
what I don’t want.

397
00:19:51.065 –> 00:19:53.355
Because the way the universe works is

398
00:19:53.355 –> 00:19:54.635
that you get what you expect.

399
00:19:55.415 –> 00:19:56.875
You get what you expect.

400
00:19:57.055 –> 00:19:59.355
So if you go out looking for the narcissist so

401
00:19:59.555 –> 00:20:02.395
that you can avoid them, you will get more

402
00:20:02.395 –> 00:20:03.555
of them in your life.

403
00:20:03.935 –> 00:20:06.515
You will, I promise you, that is how it works.

404
00:20:07.415 –> 00:20:11.905
So the antidote to this, instead

405
00:20:11.905 –> 00:20:15.825
of being in fight mode and being like always on defense

406
00:20:15.925 –> 00:20:17.545
and being hypervigilant

407
00:20:17.605 –> 00:20:20.225
and hyper-focused on how to avoid the narcissist

408
00:20:20.645 –> 00:20:21.825
and why they exist

409
00:20:21.885 –> 00:20:23.905
and how they became to be the way they are,

410
00:20:23.965 –> 00:20:24.985
and how they operate

411
00:20:24.985 –> 00:20:28.025
and how they, how they do all the things they do,

412
00:20:28.685 –> 00:20:31.345
rather than let that clutter up your pretty little heads

413
00:20:32.785 –> 00:20:35.645
and, and, and suck the wife outta you and,

414
00:20:35.785 –> 00:20:37.405
and hijack your energy.

415
00:20:38.755 –> 00:20:42.285
Just sit back and relax, sit back

416
00:20:43.145 –> 00:20:47.785
and relax and learn that you can trust yourself.

417
00:20:48.875 –> 00:20:53.225
Learn to be centered in yourself

418
00:20:53.255 –> 00:20:58.025
with a strong sense of who you are, what’s important

419
00:20:58.085 –> 00:21:01.625
to you, what your values are, how you want

420
00:21:01.625 –> 00:21:03.625
to be treated in this life.

421
00:21:04.245 –> 00:21:06.225
And just simply trust

422
00:21:06.895 –> 00:21:11.785
that if ever anyone comes across your path who speaks

423
00:21:11.805 –> 00:21:14.505
to you disrespectfully, you can say something.

424
00:21:15.445 –> 00:21:19.465
If ever anybody treats you in a way that is disrespectful

425
00:21:19.765 –> 00:21:24.505
or worse abusive, you can set a limit

426
00:21:25.325 –> 00:21:30.305
or make an exit, get out of there, hightail it outta there,

427
00:21:30.575 –> 00:21:34.015
even if it’s with a family member to the extreme,

428
00:21:34.715 –> 00:21:36.615
you can set a limit and make an exit.

429
00:21:38.225 –> 00:21:39.625
I would rather focus on that.

430
00:21:39.665 –> 00:21:42.705
I don’t know about you all, but I would rather focus on

431
00:21:43.535 –> 00:21:46.465
just being my best self and living my best life

432
00:21:46.605 –> 00:21:49.145
and trusting that if something comes my way

433
00:21:49.655 –> 00:21:52.665
that isn’t working for me, I will do what I need to do

434
00:21:52.685 –> 00:21:53.945
to take care of myself

435
00:21:55.005 –> 00:21:58.345
and get out of a situation that isn’t good for me,

436
00:21:59.085 –> 00:22:03.865
and that my friends is the way to effortlessly

437
00:22:04.635 –> 00:22:06.505
narcissist proof your life.

438
00:22:07.885 –> 00:22:11.105
So in conclusion, everybody, I really just wanna leave you

439
00:22:11.105 –> 00:22:13.945
with this really powerful thought,

440
00:22:14.795 –> 00:22:16.225
which is an awareness.

441
00:22:17.005 –> 00:22:19.865
The next time that you are in a conversation with somebody

442
00:22:20.565 –> 00:22:23.945
and they are complaining about their narcissistic ex

443
00:22:24.045 –> 00:22:25.425
or their narcissistic boss,

444
00:22:25.525 –> 00:22:27.745
or their narcissistic friend that they’ve actually had

445
00:22:27.745 –> 00:22:30.745
for 20 years who turns out to be a narcissist.

446
00:22:30.765 –> 00:22:34.025
Now that we know what this word means, I want you

447
00:22:34.025 –> 00:22:36.515
to notice yourself, if you’re judging

448
00:22:36.545 –> 00:22:38.475
that person right away, what are you thinking

449
00:22:38.495 –> 00:22:39.915
and what kind of judgments

450
00:22:39.975 –> 00:22:41.955
or conclusions are you jumping to

451
00:22:42.525 –> 00:22:44.235
about this narcissistic person?

452
00:22:45.415 –> 00:22:48.115
How are they living? How are they being? How are they doing?

453
00:22:48.115 –> 00:22:49.355
What are they doing? I want you

454
00:22:49.355 –> 00:22:52.115
to catch yourself thinking about that person in this way.

455
00:22:52.855 –> 00:22:54.875
And instead, I want you

456
00:22:54.875 –> 00:22:57.595
to think about the person who’s talking to you

457
00:22:57.815 –> 00:22:59.115
and making this claim.

458
00:23:00.885 –> 00:23:01.935
What do you know about them?

459
00:23:03.295 –> 00:23:04.975
I want you to notice that maybe

460
00:23:05.725 –> 00:23:07.615
there’s a dynamic going on here.

461
00:23:07.905 –> 00:23:09.935
There is some kind of dynamic

462
00:23:10.715 –> 00:23:14.495
and how has this person contributed to that dynamic?

463
00:23:14.605 –> 00:23:15.735
What do you know about them?

464
00:23:16.805 –> 00:23:21.155
This is one person’s perspective, and we all have one.

465
00:23:21.255 –> 00:23:23.155
We all have a perspective, we all have an opinion,

466
00:23:23.255 –> 00:23:24.435
we all have a point of view.

467
00:23:25.765 –> 00:23:28.825
So how has that person contributed to this dynamic?

468
00:23:30.155 –> 00:23:34.485
This is a fair thing to be asking of you, and a fair

469
00:23:34.745 –> 00:23:37.405
and objective thing for you to be thinking

470
00:23:38.115 –> 00:23:40.365
when somebody is having this conversation with you.

471
00:23:41.225 –> 00:23:45.045
It will help us all stop weaponizing the language, the term,

472
00:23:45.665 –> 00:23:49.685
the, the label against people who may not deserve that, um,

473
00:23:50.505 –> 00:23:53.365
and to stop overusing the lang, the language, um,

474
00:23:53.435 –> 00:23:55.085
very flippantly and carelessly.

475
00:23:55.585 –> 00:23:57.325
So thanks all for listening.

476
00:23:57.435 –> 00:23:59.765
It’s been a fun conversation for me. I hope you enjoyed.

477
00:24:01.105 –> 00:24:03.405
Thanks so much for joining the conversation today.

478
00:24:03.685 –> 00:24:05.245
I hope you learned something new

479
00:24:05.825 –> 00:24:07.685
or heard something that inspired you

480
00:24:07.705 –> 00:24:09.525
to take action in a new way.

481
00:24:10.145 –> 00:24:11.765
As your greatest champion

482
00:24:11.985 –> 00:24:15.245
and someone who truly cares about your love, happiness,

483
00:24:15.245 –> 00:24:18.365
wealth, and success, I always want to encourage you

484
00:24:18.365 –> 00:24:22.645
to ask yourself this question, how have I contributed?

485
00:24:23.345 –> 00:24:25.445
You are the only person who can ask this

486
00:24:25.545 –> 00:24:27.685
and the only one who can answer it.

487
00:24:28.435 –> 00:24:32.005
This doesn’t just change your life, this changes everything.

488
00:24:34.245 –> 00:24:36.245
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This Changes Everything.

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